There were a few things that crossed my screen this week that I thought about sharing with you, my fellow lovers of adult apps. There was Kibo, the app that protects your phone from snooping from everyone from the NSA to your little sister, which I figured you’d like to hear about it because, well, sexting is so much fun but also potentially dangerous. There was also the PornHub end of the year report, which always makes for fascinating reading, and this year found that women are really, really into cunnilingus. (Who knew! Oh, only probably everyone…) But I have to settle for just an intro on both of those (although I have a strong feeling we’ll be returning to that PornHub report) because, well, people have been sending the “militia” in Oregon dicks.
Yup: You read that right. Sending them dicks.
But before we get into the specifics, let’s back up. If you’ve sworn off the internet or the news for your New Year’s resolution and have only come back to the outside world recently (because let’s be real: we’re halfway through January and most everyone has abandoned their resolutions by now, right?), a group of armed ranchers calling themselves a “militia” took over a bird sanctuary in Oregon in protest of the fact that two ranchers were going to prison for misusing government land. The whole saga is epic and much more in depth than I can go into in this column, but be sure to read this amazing piece in Harper’s by Christopher Ketcham from almost a year ago that explains what is, apparently, an ongoing and never ending saga that includes cowboys, wannabe cowboys, corruption, environmental destruction, and rich ranchers.
But anyway. Back to the dicks.
The “militia” (or “terrorists” or just “dudes with guns”) took over the bird sanctuary government building on the second of this month buutttt didn’t really plan so well because by the second week, they’d put out a call for help. They needed some things. Specifically, they needed everything. Turns out, bird sanctuary buildings aren’t really stocked for habitation. (Who knew??) The list includes everything from thermal underwear to throw rugs (gotta keep the place looking cute, obvs) to eggs “needed badly” to toiletries, which I’m suspecting are needed even more badly than those eggs.
However, because this America, land of the free, people decided to add their own things to the list. In a video posted by one of the guys, he talks about how he went to pick up mail that came in response to their call for help. (I’m going to put aside the fact that I don’t understand why they can go pick up mail but can’t go to Walmart to get their own damn eggs for now, although that is definitely a serious question that a serious journalist should probably answer.) He talks about how his mind is blown by “an abundance of the hate mail” and then holds up a very large dildo and a bag of gummy dicks. He expresses surprise that people would spend their money on such hateful stuff and then dramatically sweeps it all off of the table.
Well, that dildo in an unopened package looked pretty new but I can say for certain that a least some of them were not, as they were sent by our friends over at the amazing sex tech company Comingle. On their Facebook page they clarified that “@comingle-io and one amazing volunteer sent y’all our reject dildos to have fun with.”
So there you have it, folks. If you want to let the Oregon “militia” know you how feel, don’t spend a dime more than you have to by following Comingle’s lead and sending them your own “reject dildos.” Or, if you don’t mind spending a little dough, check out this amazing post on GQ outlining how to “not” to send dicks to the Oregon “militia.” (Address included.) You’re welcome.
Image: Christina Xu/Flickr
The post Who’s Sending Those Dicks To The Oregon “Militia?” appeared first on MiKandi Adult App Store.
